Work “Love” – Or Why You Need a Cubicle Retinal Scanner

The server just ate my work article, it’s 1:30 a.m., and so I decided to log on and blog about something a little more fun or at least more interesting. I have worked at 10 day care centers, one nursing home, three university presses, three magazines, four universities and colleges and two recruiting agencies, and this is what I have learned: If you’re going to get “romantically involved” at work, you need to install a retinal scanner on your cubicle. Seriously, because your privacy is no longer private. And if your cubicle was taken away, learn how to lock your keyboard and desk drawers.

Mind you, you may have been in a situation where your romantic involvement at work wasn’t so voluntary as in acquiring an unrequited lover, a stalker boss or a mooning-over-you teammate. That’s difficult. How do you pry them off your cubicle door, remove them from your area and make them stop leaving you notes on your car?

I have heard several over-the-top stories from friends and clients, and this problem occurs with both sexes, sometimes even same sex annoyances. There was the male co-worker so incensed by his female co-worker’s refusal to date him that he plunked down a withered bouquet of roses (which he bought a couple of weeks in advance of Valentine’s day) on her desk and announced some melodramatic blather about how the bouquet was indicative of their blighted love. See? Women aren’t the only drama queens.

Then there was a friend who got fired because some hater in the office got access to her keyboard and fired off a very insulting and incriminating email to her boss. How do you prove something like that? Oh well, she’s now minus one job and one hater.

It seems that stalker bosses still abound, and God forbid the organization tries to fire them. There’s no way to prevent them from coming back and seeking revenge, or still plaguing you outside of work with phone calls, emails and unwanted personal appearances. So its just easier to blame and/or move the stalkee. Right. Like that works.

Did you notice that I started off this blog with the unwanted work “love” scenarios? Good. Now think about these crazy people when you envision dating that hottie that is making eye contact with you over the top of your cubicle. It all starts out normal and innocent enough, but will it end up that way? Sometimes for the lucky ones, it does. But for the rest of us, seriously, get yourself a retinal scanner…


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